What am I missing?...

We've been back in Indonesia for a month now and having a schedule and routine has served us well. But there's this strange feeling like I am forgetting something! For the past four weeks I haven't been able to figure it out. Until today. I have come to the conclusion that it is anxiousness. Now that we are technically going on year two here, I (we) have already conquered and hurled over every (most) unknown obstacles to be tackled when moving from a suburb in America to a mine-mountain-remote-town in the jungle of a foreign country as far away as almost possible. And that's it. My guard is now more appropriately allocated instead of full-blown, all the time. I now find ease in my step and my approach is less weighted of fear. The monkey on my back and it's heavy weight has been lifted!

Now the monkey won't ever be gone completely as I know there are always lurking unknowns (especially living in a mine-mountain-remote-town in the jungle) but such is life and a little fear and humility is always good! Expectancy (as much as it could be) has become my friend as well as Mike's, Hannah's and Mason's. We're no longer a total "dear in a head light", we are (a little more) seasoned.

Our little life here in the jungle has been amazing, stressful, unique, frustrating and a true blessing at the highest and lowest decibels.

Life, as always, continues on and the countdown forges on to our next adventure island, Fiji. We continue to look forward to seeing Asia and its surrounding countries...     

     

Back to the jungle and sneaky triggers...

Now approaching a little more than a week back in the jungle and it's strange. It's like nothing changed while we were gone. It just froze in time! Yet getting back has taken on new feelings. The weather is gloomy and cold and has triggered an internal sense that Autumn is coming. Which it is back in States but not here and that's confusing and saddening. Last year this time I missed the feelings of Autumn and the upcoming holidays but it was tamed by the excitement of being in a new place. This year not so much. Even for Mike. But life must go on and it is what we make it. So finding the greatness in the jungle is always fun -- like starting the countdown to Fiji. Not a bad thing to look forward to!

In addition to triggers of Autumn, another sneaky trigger occurred this morning while writing this post, the death of Robin Williams. A strange correlation? Sure! But it's that he reminds me of my dad. His humor, personality and fantastic zest for life hits a little close to home and makes this little jungle on the map REALLY far from my dad and family! It's those sneaky triggers that randomly come up and they are good things! It's good to never forget where you come from and those special people who helped make you who you are.

Tomorrow our jungle kiddos go back to school and they are very thrilled! Life in the jungle is about to get more routine and normal, thank goodness. It's just amazing how much they have grown and developed over the last year! So proud of them and would never have changed this adventure as it's made us all stronger and more resilient!!

As always, to be continued (and dreaming of Fiji)...

     

Beautiful and Beloved: the photo shoot to help aid human trafficking survivors...

A dear friend of mine, Amber, who has the most beautiful soul and smile, contacted me and asked if I would volunteer my time to model her new line of products from her boutique: Beautiful and Beloved (http://www.beautifulandbeloved.com/). Her boutique sells items such as clothing, jewelry and accessories that are made by survivors of human trafficking. Here is her mission and just a few snap shots of information on human trafficking from Beautiful and Beloved's website:

"No pen can give an adequate description of the all-pervading corruption produced by slavery."

{Harriet Ann Jacobs}

 Beautiful& Beloved desires to make a simple path for you to support individuals freed from slavery who are now empowered to earn a living in a safe, clean and just way.

Not only is our merchandise beautifully made and unique, but each purchase will dignify a survivor of human trafficking or living in extreme poverty… 

Each item is hand crafted by someone who is now free to earn and create.

On human trafficking:

That being said I jumped on the chance!! I absolutely would do it and for such an amazing cause.

I took the pleasant drive to Palmer Lake which is just outside Colorado Springs. I was excited to take the long drive as the chances are few and far between and lessening by the day before I return to the jungle. It was a beautiful afternoon. I arrived into Palmer Lake and it is stunningly beautiful and eclectically small. Her boutique resides on the corner of a small street and, as it's owner, emanated beauty and passion. As I walked into the boutique my heart banged with an immense presence; each item seemed to speak its story as I walked by them and as I was happy to be there and for the cause I was a little emotionally overwhelmed. Though these survivors survived they still yet endured undeserving pain.

My moment was pleasantly deterred by the women I began to meet. They too had such amazing presence, smiles and souls. We gathered our things for the shoot and headed to a gorgeous field. As the set up took place the photographer and another model shared their stories on how and why they were there. The model was there because not only is she friends with Amber but she works for a group that empowers women in the Middle East by education and life-sustaining training. The photographer, Tanya Kay (http://www.tanyakayphoto.com/) has been a documentary photographer of human trafficking throughout the world. Tanya Kay is probably one of the most talented photographers I have ever seen and worked with, with the most passion and spirit. Here is a blip on her from her website:

(Tanya Kay is:)

A dreamer, advocate & believer...

Capturing the essence of people around the world inspires me to use my gift to bring world change. I strive to capture hope while bringing freedom, truth and love to the unknown.

My life is one of strengths and weaknesses, moments of laughter and pain, but one I want to be sure gives God continual praise.

So here I am...expressing my heart, and reliving my adventures of what I've learned and loved.

I was in awe of these women, their mission and their unselfish desire and drive. I was so honored to be amongst them and participating (even just slightly) in a terrific cause and fight.

The evening turned into night and as the sun set on the photo shoot peace and determination fell upon my heart. These gorgeous women inspired me and showed there is always a voice and venue to stand up for what's right!!

Thank you to Amber, Beautiful and Beloved and Tanya Kay for allowing me to participate and share your stories, websites and photos (shown below). As the new catalog for Beautiful and Beloved is still in the works please view their websites and help aid in supporting human trafficking survivors!!

Camp Wildcat…

One thing is for sure, my family sure knows how to have a good time! No, not good, GREAT!! It’s an environment where letting loose and being yourself is more than encouraged (it’s expected). They are a group of sweet, downright crazy, life-loving individuals! It’s a hard group to truly describe but a group that I am blessed to be a part of!

The morning after Mike left to go back to Indonesia the kiddos and I loaded up in my parents RV and headed to the great and magnificent Western Slope. The destination: Camp Wildcat. For many, many years it has been a tradition to spend the 4^th of July camping with my dad’s side of the family (the life-loving crazy people). We arrived with ATVs in tow and parked along the circle of other ATVs, Razors, RVs and an airplane hangar.        

We set up camp and headed in for the festivities. That night’s game was Giant Jenga where all of us little and big kids took turns taunting each other and laughing as the large 2x4s toppled to the ground. A great start to the long holiday weekend.

Friday, the 4^th, began with an awesome accomplishment when both Hannah and Mason learned to ride their first motorcycle (a 50) with the help of their Uncle Paul. It was a bittersweet moment because they really enjoyed it and did so well but I know Mike would’ve love to have been there -- such a big milestone. After the, oh-so competitive, Olympics (teams of two competing against each other playing various games and sports) we finished the day by atv’ing up a large hillside to watch the fireworks. I was a little teary because last year we spent the 4^th in Indonesia with great new friends but it felt like we were still so lost at that time. We have come so far!!

Saturday we all traveled to Paonia, Colorado for the Cherry Festival (cheers to delicious cherries, right my Tembag friends!?). Paonia is a beautiful and quant little town nestled amongst orchards and vineyards – super gorgeous! The Cherry Festival had local vendors, food, music, games etc. They had body pumper balls where you slide into large inflated balls and bump the crap out of each other. It was hilarious!  

Sunday we loaded our atvs and headed to Escalante Canyon. A gorgeous, dry, canyon marked with ancient Indian carvings that are overshadowed by graffiti from derelict visitors. It was a beautiful, hot and dusty ride. Most of us adults continued on and zig-zagged through the canyon viewing historical sights until we met up with the rest of the group at the infamous “Pot Holes”. These “Pot Holes” are natural made pools where the river rock has been hollowed by the swirling, rushing water. They are perfect for swimming in with a little beach on the side. We all played in the river, dousing each other, as the little ones floated down a perfectly made water slide from one pool to another. Another great finish to a beautiful day!

Monday came quickly and it was time to pack up but before we left, the kiddos and I, got to visit their grandparents who live just a hill over. We enjoyed catching up over a cup of coffee, a horseback ride, a tractor climb and hike up a large hill. It was a blessing to see them!

The RV was loaded, gassed up and away we went back to Denver. On our way we stopped on the top of Vail pass. Another favorite place of mine as it was where Mike took me snowmobiling for the first time. A memory that I hold dear to my heart. We reveled in the outstanding luscious view for a few moments and then journeyed back.

It’s been a tremendous, fun-filled, packed vacation with still more yet to do. I am looking forward to participating in a photoshoot for a dear friend of mine who owns a boutique that sells items made from survivors of sextrafficking. Excited for the opportunity to help a great friend and amazing cause.

As always to be continued!!!!!....

 

 

 

 

 

Rocky Mountain High and saying goodbye...

The month has come and gone for Mike. I am stunned at how quickly it has gone! We’ve missed getting together with so many friends and family of his, so we hold them closer to our hearts and know that we will be back, of that I have no doubt.

The last week before Mike left we spent time up in Winter Park, Colorado. One of the bigger ski resorts and my very favorite place to go in Colorado!! It is so, so beautifully breathtaking! I swear part of John Denver’s song Rocky Mountain High was directly inspired by it's beautiful peaks and valleys and the grace and solitude they provide.

We rented a cabin and were able to catch up with several friends and family during our stay. Nothing more perfect than a gorgeous mountain home on a fantastic hillside with a picturesque million dollar color wheel of sparkling white from the high-peaked snow, lush light green from the grassy hills and deep green from the tall timbers. Again, the most beautiful place on earth!

Our days at the cabin were spent bike riding (and falling), playing corn hole, soaking in the hot tub, fishing at the local pond but the part that for me that was most fun was all of the adults pairing up with libations in hand and then speaking about a historical person or event and even acting it out (inspired by Drunk History -- look it up on Comedy Central, you won’t be disappointed). My niece's new husband stole the show and all of our bellies were in pain from laughing so hard – tears and all!

It was an amazing trip and much needed but on Wednesday we had to take Mike to the airport to head home. It was something I was dreading ever since we landed. I just knew it would be so hard. Together we packed his bags and made sure he had his itinerary. The drive to the airport was quiet as we held and squeezed each other's hands and the kids slept. We arrived at the entrance for the airline and we all hugged and kissed him goodbye with tears. Hannah cried almost all the way home. I know it's only 28 days until I get to see him but it's just so far away!! I was doing pretty good until I got home and went into the bedroom and it was empty of all of his stuff and it really hit me hard. (Soon baby, we'll be home).

Now the journey for me and the kiddos continues and we are headed to Delta, Colorado to spend time with more family and friends for the 4th of July! A holiday I have never appreciated more!

As always, to be continue...    

 

 

The gluttony and the lost freak...

It's been two weeks now since we've been "home" and have finally adjusted to the time difference. We are so ever-grateful to our family members that have taken us in but we are again like gypsies just like right before we left for Indonesia. The hardest part so far has been seeing our home lived in by another family (who are taking good care of it), our once-before possessions being used and owned by someone else, a dog that looked just like Honey and dealing with the feeling of bewilderment -- how quickly it all went yet how heavy it's presence lingers!? I think we are in search of familiarity and normalcy.

It's funny -- everything is the same but everything is different. Like the food we were looking forward to is not the same but that hasn't stopped us from total gluttony. I have let the kiddos eat pretty much anything whenever they want because in one month's time they won't get the chance. I must look like a lost freak in the grocery and liquor store with my face exuding sheer panic and excitement from all the choices and prices. Yes, some stuff is equally priced but my hair mousse is three times more expensive in Indonesia. It pisses me off a little bit -- how can it be that much more? And milk! Milk is $10 a gallon in our little secluded town and here it's close to $4!?!?!? Crazy!!! I feel like we live in a ridiculous monopoly bubble there! 

It's unfortunate how fast time has gone and Mike leaves in just two weeks. Thinking of him being so far away makes me sad and we haven't gotten to see all the people we had hoped to while he's here. We did however get to spend four days in beautiful downtown Denver alone for our anniversary and enjoyed every second. In a week we get to enjoy the gorgeous Colorado mountains in a large mountain home where we can freely hike, fish, bike and sleep under the stars. I am so, so, so looking forward to that as we are very restrained in the mine town we live in.

Living abroad has taught us all so much and I am so thankful and wouldn't have changed anything over the last year but the thing I have appreciated the most is where I have come from and who I am.

Can't wait for the mountain air and stars -- as always to be continued...

 

        

     

AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL!...

After an exhausting 36 or something hours we finally arrived home! Seriously, America is truly the most beautiful place on earth. I have experienced a few places over the last year and I have never been more proud to call this place my home! I know that no place is perfect and each has it's share of corruption, injustice, brutality and disgrace but here I have a choice and a chance.

We only arrived less than 24 hours ago and after a beautiful day with family and we were spent (yet I am typing this it's 4:00 in the morning as I can't sleep). The tears where few at the airport and there where many smiles. I thought I would just breakdown at the airport due to relief and exhaustion but held it together until I told Hannah and Mason it was time for bed. Mason was thoroughly confused and the last straw was broken when I explained that we were not going home because someone else lives there and we were staying with Grandma and Papa. He was hysterical. I have never seen him so upset and blame a little bit on him being so tired but I took his littleness for granted. My heart was instantly broken and all I could do was hold him and sob with him. There it was, my breakdown. I would never change the last year for anything and maybe it's the exhaustion talking but reflecting on last night with Mason and how I described where we live to my family, I wonder if the life lesson for us all has been achieved?

Either way our immediate future holds the blessed opportunity to enjoy time with family and friends, the freedom of speech, the 2nd Amendment and all the goodness of being an American encompasses!