US

US

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Trying not to feel lost...

It has been almost a month now since our full time live-in Pembantu has moved in with us. Again, Pembantu is a nanny/maid.
WOW! That is all I can say! Wow, as in, fabulous, uncomfortable, awesome and what a learning curve! It's been an interesting but uneventful transition so far. Getting to know each other, how we function as a family and how she will fit into all that -- we're still getting it all figured out.  She is so sweet and kind. Probably more so than any other person I have ever met.
One of the biggest challenges is how much she wants to interact with the kids, especially Mason but they just aren't warmed up quite yet. I understand she really is a stranger. She speaks very little English and I know it'll take time but it breaks my heart -- rejection sucks especially from a kid! Nonetheless, it is truly beautiful to see her hug them and wish them good morning, every morning!
The best part so far is the time I have been able to spend with Mike, Hannah and Mason. I am lucky that I don't get to say to the kids anymore "one minute. I will play with you after I load the dishwasher". Someone might say that, that is benign and stupid but it is so important to our connection and their development.
She cooks on the nights I teach yoga and walks the kids to and from school on Wednesdays so that I can focus the entire day on my school work. I am in awe of how much my stress level has gone down and I never have to ask her or mention anything as she is already there two steps ahead. She has had to scold me (not really scold) but nicely remind me that she does the dishes not me and she really, really means it. I am pretty sure it frustrates her. I am just trying to help. Oh, the learning curve!
She is FABULOUS!  
The ultimate and biggest challenge is the internal struggle of trying not to feel lost. What is my purpose and direction in life? It has already been a struggle not being able to work (which is an ailment I think I am close to being healed from) but giving up the domestic duties that were a part of my "job description" (my contribution) has been hard. It's not my personality to not participate or not help out, particularly when it comes to my family but I have to keep reminding myself that there are so many benefits (none of them physically tangible) but the payoffs are and will be worth it.
There will never be a situation like this where I can walk my kids to and from school, help out in their classrooms, teach yoga, peacefully make dinner, work on finishing my degree and all the while employ a very special person who loves us, keeps me sane and, most importantly, gets to keep her own kids on track to going to University.    
All a blessing! And I only forgot to shut the bathroom door once so far (pretty sure it won't happen again). :)

As always to be continued....

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.